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Note: More than 80 references failed to migrate to this HTML doc. Also, much of the formatting was lost as well.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1 Confessions of a New Age Junkie

Chapter 2 Snake Oil, P.T. Barnum and The Secret

Chapter 3 The Laws Governing External Sources of Suffering

Chapter 4 The Laws Governing Internal Sources of Suffering

Chapter 5 The Laws of Transition---Prebirth Agenda

Chapter 6 The Laws of Transition---Our Sacred Purpose

Chapter 7 The Law of Cause and Effect---Karma

Chapter 8 The Law We Consciously Control---Free Will

Chapter 9 Religion, Spirituality, and Prayers

Chapter10 Enlightenment and Consciousness

Introduction

Burying the Secret reflects my slavish devotion to the “law of attraction” in the late 1980s when I believed that dream fulfillment was always just around the corner. Drunk with denial, I staggered into Hell instead.

Back then, I believed all the writers who promised that the law of attraction converts our desires into concrete outcomes through positive-thinking strategies, such as visualizations and affirmations.Over time, rattling off affirmations every day meant that my life simply stood still, shortly before it shattered into a pitiful assortment of tiny fragments. I spent a lot of time rummaging around for usable shards like a homeowner searching for salvageable items after a tornado leveled her house.

Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret

Editor Rhonda Byrne and The Secret’s 24 contributors would have us believe that the law of attraction supersedes all other Universal laws, because no other forces governing our lives are mentioned in this book, let alone their interrelationships and potential pecking order. Furthermore, The Secret fails to acknowledge that unanswered prayers and long-postponed outcomes represent the norm for life-altering changes.

Rather than disputing the existence of the law of attraction, Burying The Secret discusses The Secret’s numerous restrictions and oversights. However, the bulk of Burying The Secret examines other Universal laws and spiritual issues inextricably linked to the law of attraction.

Burying The Secret favors a nondenominational approach, yet seasoned metaphysical readers will likely recognize the book’s Eastern and mystical influences.

(Return to Table of Contents)

 

 

Chapter 1

Confessions of a New Age Junkie

 

Hello, my name is Carol and I am a New Age junkie. My drug of choice is affirmations. 

Hi Carol.

I cannot recall a hand basket when I went to Hell in the early 1990s as a result of following the law of attraction to the letter. I just knew that I had never sunk so low. I also failed to forecast that the worst was yet to come.

Things got so bad that all concrete attempts to reverse my unstoppable slide into deep poverty—and the resulting social alienation—were completely useless. I became an outcast because everyone viewed me as a loser with a capital L, except for longstanding close friends.

I experienced unprecedented levels of frustration as I hit one brick wall after another. At times I felt that only a fine, fragile line kept me from crossing over into full-fledged madness. Nevertheless, short-lived periods of near-insanity and/or depression did take over from time to time. Desperation would render me hopeless and helpless until such time as I would mysteriously revive and begin to struggle once again. Occasionally, the recovery was so feeble that I planned my suicide. Once, I even composed multiple goodbye letters. Their tone reflected more misery and bewilderment than bitterness.  

Confidantes kept telling me that the law of attraction was doing me in, though the buzz words in those days were more typically “transformation,” “healing,” and “prosperity thinking.” Ten years passed before I could adapt to my unprecedented subsistence level, but this whole sorry period spanned 17 years altogether.  

Hindsight Is the Greatest Teacher

I eventually learned that prayers, affirmations, and visualizations, are all well and good in moderation, as long as they refer to trivial matters, such as productive bargain hunting or getting great tickets to a popular concert. I ultimately understood that climbing up the ladder to address more life-altering issues represents another matter entirely: Utilizing real-world resources to solve life’s problems provides the only workable approach. A dash of optimism fuels these efforts, but positive thinking—without concrete strategies—either produces no results or propels us into unwanted situations, no matter how fiercely we resist them.

I now understand that many immovable obstacles far outweighed viable solutions in this dark period. I also can see that my frustrations and failures produced important insights; I could not move on until vital life lessons had been incorporated into my psyche. Chief among these was purging prosperity thinking because it had figuratively and literally bankrupted me. Once I gave up affirmations and took personal responsibility, my life improved. Accepting reality—warts and all—was another key feature of my recovery.

The Transformation Blues

During this period, I found myself rattled and skittish for several months after a trying situation ended. In one case, it took the form of panic when I heard a knock at the door or the phone ringing. The erratic people associated with my most recent horror had no way of knowing where I had moved, but for a few seconds, I believed it was one of them visiting or dialing, until I got a grip. Despite all of this, my walk over the embers in Hell yielded some rewards as these two examples illustrate:

First, I used to be a raging bull with a combustible temperament, breathing fire several times a day over nothing. I now have a very long fuse and find that the repertoire of things eliciting anger has all but disappeared.

Second, my dangerously impulsive nature has given way to extraordinary patience. In retrospect, I realize that my life had to stop dead in its tracks to get my attention, so that I could learn a multitude of lessons. I could not have addressed these challenges in a meaningful fashion without the relentless adversities I faced for a very long time.

I emerged from the chaos—created by my affirmation addiction—to enjoy a far more stable life at this point. This may not sound like much, but I am grateful because I could only dream of stability for a very long time.

Before the Tides Turned

Oddly enough, stability and security had anchored my life until I opened up that New Age can of worms. Leading up to the time my life disintegrated, I was living well in Montreal. I had a good job, a fabulous apartment, and a $7,000 annual budget for clothes and my beloved shoe collection. I worked out at least six hours every week and was in perfect health, as long as I did not count my lifelong battle with weight control. Despite the obesity, I looked presentable in designer fashions and enjoyed a rich social life.

During this period, I was at the tail end of work on a film degree and had already accumulated impressive writing credits. I had traveled to New York and Los Angeles several times to cover film festivals and interview Hollywood notables; and prestigious magazines had published these articles. In addition, an academic conference had accepted an independent study I did on advances in film technology and it was later published by a film journal. Some of my professors were quite stunned by this because most of these events took place while I was still a freshman.

Rumblings before the Storm

Shortly before graduating in 1988, I began to experience an uncomfortable restlessness. I desperately wanted a career change and had spent 10 long years working towards my degree on a part-time basis while employed full time as a well-compensated accountant, though I did not have a CPA degree. However, I had no idea how I would find rewarding film work in Canada. Local pickings were slim to none and staying in Montreal meant joining the long and growing ranks of unemployed film school graduates. I always felt discouraged by seeing these unhappy souls wait tables and man cash registers around town.

I felt trapped and anxious because I could see no way to break free of my current job so I could move onto something better suited to my education and my tiny, but compelling film resume. All I knew was that I did not have to commit a felony to feel imprisoned for an unspecified duration.

During this period of malaise, many people told me I should read Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life. It took me a long time to give in because I could not see the value of a self-help book in overcoming the concrete obstacles besieging me.

The Secret to My Magical Thinking

When I finally relented, You Can Heal Your Life unleashed a dormant part of my personality, namely my overly developed sense of magical thinking, or the belief that dramatic life improvements are just days away. Many years passed before I could identify both the magical thinking and my pronounced sense of entitlement as the central instigators of my downfall.

Affirmations: My New Lifestyle

You Can Heal Your Life may be a decent book for those hoping for a spiritual awakening, as long as they do not take everything literally or magnify Hay’s advice, as I did.

More specifically, where Hay advises writing out a few affirmations and reciting them twice a day, I operated on the premise that more must certainly be better, especially for novices such as myself. So I typed out four single-spaced pages of affirmations, covering several themes. I wanted to be embarrassingly rich, pencil thin, wildly successful, and deeply in love. I reworded everything so that these demands would be stated in varying ways many times in those four pages. Reciting this mantra six times, twice a day did not cut it after a week. So I tripled the list, and voilà, I had 12 pages to read aloud six times, twice a day, and even more often on weekends.

My Secret Headaches and Subconscious Custodian

As a result of all the recitations, excruciating headaches were the norm, as if I were slapping myself upside the head a dozen times each morning, repeating the exercise 10 hours later, then again the next morning, and on and on. Over-the-counter headache medicine may as well have been candy for all the relief it provided.

I eventually understood that these affirmations essentially spoke to my unconscious, which housed all my buried dirt, including unresolved childhood issues. I later discovered that we submerge certain events and sorrows into the protective supervision of our unconscious until we are adequately equipped to handle them. The headaches came about because my all-too-powerful subconscious custodian had no intention of breaching the barricade surrounding this pain, as if to say:

“What the hell does she think she’s doing?” Bam. Bam.

“Hey, I’m sleeping over here.” Bam. Bam.

“Yo, knucklehead, get a frickin’ life.” Bam. Bam.

Evidently, this obnoxious gatekeeper had identified a significant gap between the protected material and my readiness to have it revealed in its raw form.

Before I was able to address this unconscious material, some offensive habits erupted, such as casually judging others and trying to control the lives of everyone around me, to name two. These characteristics occupied my consciousness enough to distract me from self-examination. Eventually, I understood that spending all that negative energy on others was not only spiritually counterproductive, but it also alienated the people I cared about.

The Miracle and the Fallout

The highly concentrated protocol of affirmations damaged my life, but the repercussions were not apparent for some time. In the beginning, nothing much happened beyond the throbbing head, but six months later a miracle occurred. I was still living in Canada and had applied three years earlier for permanent American residency through the Green Card lottery. Out of the blue, Immigration and Naturalization (called INS at that time) inquired by mail to see if I would still be interested in permanent residency. This was a miracle because I had no idea they would pull names from previous years to fill current quotas. Moreover, this was the Rolls Royce of all Green Cards. No lawyers were involved and I paid a mere $150 for the required medical exam, fingerprints, and clearance from the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (Canada’s version of the FBI). Best of all, I got the green light in four months, instead of the usual five or more years. The unexpected opportunity to move to Los Angeles with my new film degree meant I would be able to take advantage of precious opportunities that were not available in Canada. It was a godsend. Or so it seemed at the time.

Offensive Enthusiasm

As a result of this “miracle,” my belief in affirmations and the law of attraction became so hideously pronounced that I proselytized with a frightening intensity. At first, people would listen politely, but they avoided me like the plague soon after.

I was completely mystified. “What’s the matter with them?” I wondered. “This is a no-brainer.” No brains indeed, as I soon discovered for myself.

Falling from Heaven and Burning in Hell

Moving to Los Angeles reminded me of the Charles Dickens passage: “It was the best of times. It was the worst of times”. Los Angeles turned out to be the most nourishing and compatible environment for me and I even found a job in Hollywood through a connection in the film industry. Things had apparently fallen into place according to the law of attraction.

I worked for a production company located in a prestigious post-production facility. Surrounded by professionals at the top of their game, I met dozens of people whose names I recognized from multiple movie credits. Better yet, I felt completely in sync with their collective sensibility. I thought I had died and gone to heaven.

However, a two-headed monster soon emerged and threatened my sense of well being. The two producers I worked for were more toxic than anyone I had ever encountered. Their abuses of power made me feel like an undocumented farmhand who was constantly on the verge of exposure by the authorities.

I was in the country legally of course, but I was working in an industry that did not embrace entry-level workers over the age of 30. I would later discover that successful people in Hollywood almost always started off at the bottom in their early 20s and worked their way up from there.

My inherent vulnerability in this area gave these cavalier men the leverage to treat me like trash and to impose demands that were nearly impossible to fulfill within a given timeframe. By consistently setting me up to fail, these trust-fund-baby producers accomplished two things:

First, I was a convenient scapegoat. Second, they were leading me down a path to certain employment termination.

In the end, I concluded that they had developed serious hiring remorse within a week of my arrival and this was how they dealt with it. As a result of this war of attrition, I spent more time closing my office door and bawling than I did feeling in control of the situation. The quality of my work began to reflect this ongoing instability and it came as no surprise when I was summarily fired six months later.

I never again worked in Hollywood, as though I had been blacklisted. However, I doubt this was the case because my job was relatively insignificant and these two producers were inconsequential within the industry as a whole. Hence, the job-hunting obstacles that followed could not be tied to these men.

Casting Pearls before Swine

Within eight months of my promising arrival in Hollywood, I was pounding the pavement in search of another job commensurate with my education and credentials. My solid resume had no impact whatsoever on potential employers. Their indifference puzzled me because my qualifications should have at least made me a serious contender for numerous positions. Nevertheless, my job searches came up empty and my money kept dwindling.

To make matters worse, Los Angeles in 1991 experienced its worst recession since 1929, according to the local news. As a result, unhappy employees were clinging to their jobs because compelling job opportunities were rare.

I faxed or mailed 100+ resumes in three or four months, yielding a handful of calls and about 20 rejection letters. I also tried employment agencies for temporary and permanent assignments, but my “foreign” experience led some agency representatives to say, “I see here you have no experience in this country,” before they quickly escorted me out.

From the beginning, I had organized a system for job searches, with files named:

After two months of “regular” job-hunting, I exhausted the “Desperate Only” file within a week. Jobs requiring lengthy, exhausting commutes and graveyard shifts made up the bulk of this file. I then stared at the papers in the “When Hell Freezes Over” file, featuring menial opportunities. These jobs paid poorly, but the worst part was that they made demands beyond my physical abilities. For example, working as a cashier did not seem that bad, but I would have to stand for longer periods than I was capable of.

No matter how far down I spiraled or how desperate I felt, I still had complete faith in the power of affirmations. I believed “it was just a matter of time,” and “a miracle is just a day away.” I had not connected my relentless decline with my treasured belief in the law of attraction and her twin sister, magical thinking. Years later, when I finally disengaged myself from this vile pairing, I came to two astonishing realizations:

First, faithful compliance with the law of attraction virtually guaranteed manifesting anything but my wishes. In my case, this often meant experiencing the direct opposite of my stated goals.

Second, stuffing my head with affirmations meant that little room was left to actually receive good things. I understood that being open and receptive depended on my reserving a spot for new things. More importantly, with most of the real estate in my mind occupied, I failed to make critical connections. For example, I relied on standard job-hunting procedures and may have overlooked less traditional approaches, such as tying in a news story of a new branch opening locally with the company’s potentialneed for my services.

After countless dead ends on the job-hunting front, the phone’s deafening silence drove me to find some way to occupy myself, other than waiting for calls that did not come. I needed to fill my free time with something meaningful that would take my mind off my troubles and away from the stress that was growing exponentially.

Consciousness Overhaul at the Los Angeles Public Library

Between job interviews, I discovered a treasure trove of metaphysical material in the central L.A. library. At this point, my unwavering belief in the law of attraction—coupled with the panic I felt about my situation—drew me to books supplementing Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life. I rationalized that I had either misunderstood Hay or that You Can Heal Your Life had not adequately covered reversals of fortune.

In the end, all the subsequent get-rich-quick and law-of-attraction books left me as hungry for guidance as I was before. So while I was doing temp work to sustain me, I branched out and found magnificent material unrelated to the law of attraction, including books about:

These new perspectives made me understand spirituality in a brand new way. I took copious notes and used bibliographies to guide me to deeper material until a fresh context emerged: I had consumed so many powerful perspectives on the above-mentioned topics that discarding the law of attraction actually seemed feasible. This exercise radically altered my thinking and realigned my priorities in several ways:

First, I saw that the accumulation of wealth may be an accomplishment of sorts, but it had nothing to do with spiritual development.

Second, I perceived my place in the big picture more clearly. Instead of comparing myself only to those in my own milieu, I saw myself as a citizen of the planet. Over time, this meant that I felt connected to everyone, including people who embraced alienating cultures and strange traditions. I was forced to conclude that I was much better off than many others around the world, despite the financial challenges facing me at that time.

Third, I understood that I had spent a lifetime being ruled by a sense ofentitlement, which I later discovered had lured me to the law of attraction in the first place.

Fourth, a sober assessment of my current circumstances eventually produced gratitude for my life as it was. This allowed me to accept my substandard situation when things did not fall into place easily.

Fifth, as my perspective shifted, an unprecedented outlook surfaced: For the first time, I identified with people whose aspirations had to be postponed or canceled so they could deal with basic survival needs or pressing responsibilities, such as parenting.

Sixth, as time went on, I discovered that these individuals probably represented the majority of the population as I had met precious few people who were actually living their dreams. As long as I had clung to my sense of entitlement, I was completely oblivious to these particular individuals who surrounded me on a daily basis. By shedding the entitlement, I could finally relate to others in a way not possible before.

Seventh, my comprehension of humanity became even deeper when I realized that everyone’s journey is unique and includes mysterious elements that are beyond my ability to understand. Hence, my strong inclination to offhandedly judge others also disintegrated.

This whole process mimicked a domino effect and spanned several years.

.(Pages omitted)

(Return to Table of Contents)

Chapter 2

Snake Oil, P.T. Barnum, and The Secret

According to The Secret’s acknowledgements page, The Secret is a corporation, called T.S. Production LLC, with CEO Bob Rainone at the helm. A former IBM salesman and telecom executive, Rainone neither wrote nor edited any part of The Secret, but he is clearly a marketing brainiac.

While developing The Secret, his company employed:

In an odd way, The Secret has probably made publishing history: Instead of a lonely author tapping away at a keyboard, surrounded by piles of papers and books, we get content by committee for maximum marketing effect. In addition, The Secret’s remarkable dust jacket looks similar to The Da Vinci Code’s, while the interior graphic design and parchment-like appearance harkens back to the Dead Sea Scrolls.

Every word has been carefully examined and tweaked with two things in mind: Marketing and money, with an emphasis on get-rich-quick. “Get-rich-quick” has a double meaning here: It refers to the reader’s interest in instant wealth as well as to The Secret’s accumulation of massive revenues at lightning speed.

In September 2007, the company launched Phase II of its marketing plan, including a book sequel and another DVD, and a third book is in the works. And let’s not forget the speaking engagements. James Ray, one of the book’s contributors, commands $3,495/person for his weekend seminars. The Secret has also been a godsend to Rhonda Byrne who personally accumulated $12 million from July 1, 2006 to June 30, 2007, according to Forbes.

CEO Bob Rainone blatantly told a reporter that The Secret’s “wealth enhancement” was deliberately emphasized. Anyone with the slightest inkling about spiritual development knows that amassing riches has nothing to do with our spiritual well being.

On top of everything, the book does not hold just a measly copyright, but has a registered trademark as well, so merchandising was planned all along. And if that were not enough, CBS Corporation owns both Simon & Schuster and King World, the company that produces The Oprah Winfrey Show, which featured two one-hour episodes about The Secret.

The Genie-in-a-Bottle Effect

One of the many offensive aspects of The Secret is its promise that absolutely anything envisioned can be manifested, as if God grants each and every wish just like a Genie in a bottle. However, practicing the law of attraction promises limitless wishes instead of just the three offered by a Genie. Indeed, The Secret DVD even features Aladdin and his lamp with the tag line: “Your wish is my command.”

Visualizations, affirmations, and prayers fall under the umbrella of “petitions to God.” The Secret fails to acknowledge that unanswered petitions are the norm because fulfillment of the most dramatic or life-changing prayers usually conflicts with our karmic standing and/or our purpose in life, among other things. This means that we can babble affirmations, and visualize day in and day out for years on end and get nothing. Or, worse, our lives can deteriorate in the very area in which we seek healing. This reversal not only happened to me, but I have seen it with others as well.

Clotaire Rapaille and the Reptilian Brain

The Secret’s mega success causes many of us to scratch our heads, wondering why an otherwise intelligent person would swallow the law of attraction, hook, line, and sinker. As cultural anthropologist and psychiatrist Clotaire Rapaille (1941-) points out, this contradiction between mass appeal and mindless content can be explained.

Though Rapaille has not publicly analyzed The Secret’s success, he does scrutinize similar conflicts in other areas of our lives. For example, a man may be vocally supportive of energy conservation and other environmental issues, but he may still purchase a gas-guzzler, such as the Hummer. More commonly, some of us study nutrition labels at the supermarket, but we then eat six times the recommended amount of the low-sugar or reduced-fat selections. This opposition between word and action refers to our “reptilian brain,” which, according to Rapaille, dominates our psyches until we are about seven years old.

Rapaille explains the discrepancy by pointing out that we occasionally set aside our rational mind when making purchases. Instead, our reptilian brain controls some of our buying decisions, particularly the ones involving luxury items. This means that the imprints we receive as preschoolers sometimes carry more weight in influencing our adult behavior than does our rational mind.

Reptilian Imprints

Childhood imprints may include icons such as the military For example, a man’s father may have been a marine for life and the marine’s son may have played with toy soldiers for many years. As an adult, the son still has positive associations with military symbols. An imprint might also refer to a smell, such as the aroma of brewing coffee, which has been experienced on a daily basis since birth.

The imprints triggered by The Secret relate to our preschool sense of entitlement and the innate magical thinking to which we revert when our reptilian brain dominates. Furthermore, The Secret appears to have struck a chord within our cultural reptilian brain, which desires the wealth necessary to purchase luxury items. This is the only explanation that can account for The Secret’s success and it certainly illuminates how I succumbed to the law of attraction in the 1980s in such a pig-headed fashion.

People who face criticism for an ill-advised reptilian decision often make little sense when they defend their actions, especially in light of the sober, intelligent way in which they might approach non-reptilian issues. This means that loved ones do not stand a chance of reasoning with a person whose reptilian side is the only one listening.

Reptiles in Denial

Whether choices are challenged or not, denial plays an important role in justifying such irrational decisions. Likewise, denial prevents fervent believers in the law of attraction from objectively examining the countless promises of wish fulfillment that dominate The Secret.

If these readers took a good hard look at all the people they have known throughout the years, they would see that rough patches and long postponed dreams are the rule, not the exception. Furthermore, if law-of-attraction practitioners made a list, they would soon discover that successful people run the gamut from grouchy cynics to those with the sunniest dispositions, yet they all achieved success in much the same way: By working very hard and taking scary risks. Realizing big dreams is a lengthy and difficult process, typically involving tons of energy and plenty of setbacks along the way.

Of course, some of us accept life as it has been laid out in front of us. The Secret authors probably believe that these people still need to be enlightened by the law of attraction. Nevertheless, acceptance of life’s circumstances—which have absolutely nothing to do with what we wanted in our 20s and 30s—is actually a signpost of significant spiritual maturity.

The Power of Acceptance

Most of us experience meager, mediocre, or trying circumstances in at least one aspect of our daily lives. Through acceptance—and by doing our best with the situation at hand—we not only make our lives better within these parameters, but we slowly and steadily grow spiritually as well.

I imagine the Scales of Justice, with wealth on one side and spiritual development on the other. The Secret blatantly disregards half of this balancing act. Of course wealth and spirituality are not mutually exclusive and we can theoretically achieve both. However, greed—and pursuits driven by a sense of entitlement—pretty much wipe out the possibility of any spiritual growth during a period dominated by such quests. A person preoccupied with manifesting wealth is doing anything but taking care of matters deemed important from a spiritual standpoint.

Unsung Heroes

In the movie A Bronx Tale (1993), Lorenzo (Robert DeNiro) is a straightlaced bus driver who has developed a profound level of acceptance. His son is slowly being seduced by the grandiose lifestyle generated by neighborhood mobsters.

Lorenzo can only offer the child a Spartan home, which clashes with the fancy cars and houses owned by the criminals. At one point, Lorenzo says that it takes courage to face his job and his life every day. Lorenzo also believes that real men always honor responsibilities.

Lorenzo shows us that a seemingly unremarkable life can be infused with integrity and dignity. Indeed, people like Lorenzo are the real role models, but few of us recognize that. As a result, our current cultural climate and collective mentality are ultra receptive to The Secret’s core message.

The Law of Attraction and Large Groups

One way to assess The Secret’s gaping omissions entails large groups, such as:

The Secret’s contributors would dismiss all this suffering as negative thinking or as a lack of knowledge about the law of attraction. The Secret’s authors apparently refuse to acknowledge that life happens, that people get sick and die, and that the cards we have been dealt vary tremendously. These cards differ among us and they also change at different points in our own lives. In contrast, The Secret prefers to blame the victim.

Furthermore, a stubborn refusal to acknowledge the dual nature of reality runs through The Secret like an incurable virus. At different times in our lives, we face sickness and health, joy and sorrow, lack and abundance, and so on. I cannot recall a single optimist who has not experienced these cycles in one form or another. Nevertheless, The Secret would have us believe that we can avoid all the low points with sustained positive thinking.

In truth, we constantly move in and out of different phases. Both desirable and painful times come to an end eventually. We are relieved to let go of the hardship and are saddened by the end of a really great situation or relationship. In both cases, new people and circumstances emerge to fill the voids. These cycles structure our lives and guide us through events and relationships. Even so, The Secret prefers to dwell on stunning improvements that it promises will materialize, usually in 30 days or less.

The Secret’s claims consistently clash with observation and experience. After living in Hell for nearly two decades, I personally see positive thinking as useful, but overrated. One possible benefit seems to be compelling: Positive thinkers enjoy life more than cynics. Or do they?

Optimists and Pessimists

Interestingly, pessimists tell us that they never get their hopes up, so they rarely feel disappointed. This tells me that optimists and pessimists employ different survival skills. And that is it. We all erect protective barriers, so the pessimist’s coping strategies are every bit as viable as the optimist’s. If the law of attraction worked the way The Secret’s authors suggest, then negative thinkers would never draw good things into their lives. Ever.

I have seen the opposite time and again. One side of the discussion is populated by individuals we may recognize:

On the other side, we have:

Positive Thinking and Surviving Cancer

While we are on the topic of surviving cancer, let’s discuss Dr. Jimmie Holland’s article called The Tyranny of Positive Thinking, which considers the harsh realities facing cancer patients. Holland bases his theories on his 24 years of experience counseling patients at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in Manhattan.

Holland believes that low self-esteem and a poor attitude have nothing to do with either attracting cancer or surviving it. He asserts that lifestyle issues—such as smoking, poor diet, and lack of exercise—are much stronger contributors. Holland also believes that even positive thinkers—who lead relatively healthy and smoke-free lives—can develop cancer.

Holland chastises the “positive thinking police” for not allowing cancer patients to feel blue about the horrors of chemotherapy. Their censorious attitude implies that a negative reaction to the treatments will only help tumors to grow. Holland concedes that anxiety may adversely affect a patient’s recovery, but he believes that while “stress does affect the immune system, there is no evidence that the blips produced are in the range of those that would affect tumor growth”.

Holland has observed negative thinkers thriving for decades after a terminal diagnosis and he feels that cancer patients should make no alteration to their thinking. Whether we are optimists or pessimists, staying true to ourselves seems to be what is most important to Holland. “Identify your own beliefs about the mind-body connection and use them as they are comfortable for you, based on your temperament and your natural ways of coping”, Holland advises.

.(Pages omitted)

(Return to Table of Contents)

Chapter 3

The Laws Governing External Sources of Suffering

As you may have already noticed, The Secret and other books about the law of attraction trivialize the complexity of the human experience and consistently fail to acknowledge other crucial factors, such as periods of severe anguish.

Suffering overtakes our spirits and manifests in so many ways that by the time we are 40 its imprint on our psyche is as unique as our DNA profile.

In one form or another, hardship is endemic to the human experience. Interestingly, Buddhists look through the prism of suffering and compassion to bolster their spiritual understanding and to fortify their acceptance of the way life works.

After considerable contemplation, I can only explain the purpose of suffering by describing what happens in its absence. When we go through intervals of contentment in most areas of our lives, we often conclude—unconsciously at least—that “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Then we stop working on our spiritual development.

These periods of grace become a respite from our main spiritual goal of learning. The intermissions are like holidays because we are blessed with low-maintenance situations for a while and are not expected to work on spiritual advancement at all. The natural tendency is to take these breaks for granted and grow complacent, because we are not motivated to challenge ourselves during the good times, just as we lack incentive while on vacation.

The easier interludes occur between much longer periods when we are more attuned to faltering areas in our own lives. At such times, we rarely connect our distress with opportunities to learn lessons. Even so, most of us understand this correlation in hindsight. Looking back imparts a degree of clarity compared to the murky nature of the actual hardship as we go through it.

The variety of potential issues we face can be enormous, particularly when we factor in our observations of what other people have to endure. Let’s discuss some of these now.

Difficulties without Resolution

Some kinds of suffering offer no feasible way out. Let’s consider a long-term situation with no obvious resolution. For example, a four-year-old girl—who lost both parents in a car accident—spent the next 14 years in the harsh world of the foster-care system. She missed the educational opportunities that would have been available had her parents lived. She was also deprived of quality parental care and concern.

By the time she turned 21, she was lost, confused, and felt like damaged goods. The burden of such wounds may have been greater for her than most of us bear at that age. Nevertheless, she really has no choice but to make the most of her situation and go on. As an adult, she must mull over opportunities as they arise and make decisions for better or for worse. Her unusual circumstances and added burdens do not exempt her from fulfilling her spiritual mandate.

Adversities with Possible Solutions

Another type of suffering points to situations that theoretically can be resolved, such as financial distress. When we encounter monetary difficulties, we immediately look for solutions. We tackle the obvious things first: We might get a second mortgage, find another job, and try to collect old debts. However, if circumstances show that our efforts are in vain, or we once again run out of money, we must look for different approaches. If these also fail and bill collectors badger us all day long, we may sink into despair.

Despite contrary indicators, these dilemmas encompass a positive element: All this activity galvanizes our spiritual side, though we rarely perceive that enough misery means that we may eventually reach the point of facing the lessons we need to learn. Our success depends on our willingness to confront longstanding issues. Accordingly, this process—including the attendant adversities—may be repeated many times throughout our lives.

Mellowing over the Years

Both William Styron’s Darkness Visible and Carl Jung’s The Portable Jung refer to a “knock at the door” starting as early as 35 years of age. These faintly audible “knocks” remind us of hearing a neighbor’s alarm clock:

They are just loud enough to be heard, but not resounding enough to be characterized as a “wakeup call.” If we ignore the gentle rapping we become predisposed to depression and midlife crisis. At this point, repressing issues—whose time is ripe for revelation—includes the potential for woefulness or a frenzied attempt to reclaim our lost youth.

These subtle, slippery middle-age cues are barely perceptible and we easily set them aside even after numerous prompts. We are spiritually obligated to take a long, hard look at our life as it is right now with both the beautiful and the hideous in sharp focus.

On the ugly front, specific situations, ideas, and behaviors must go, particularly if they have never worked or if they have outlived their usefulness. If we take refuge in escapism or denial, we not only postpone the inevitable, but we also negatively influence our daily functioning and inadvertently sabotage real-life goals. If we fail to respond by the time we are 50, we can turn into unsightly distortions of our younger selves.

Carl Jung warns that if we do not learn as opportunities arise we become unbearably pigheaded:

One’s cherished principles and convictions, especially the moral ones, begin to harden and to grow incessantly rigid until somewhere around the age of 50 a period of intolerance and fanaticism is reached.

Carl Jung ,The Portable Jung

Jung goes on to explain that we react as though these principles seem “endangered” to us, so we overcompensate by embracing them even more tightly. We cling to old ideas and habits because eliminating familiar (albeit dysfunctional) elements often means treading in the dangerous waters of fear and insecurity. We are really grasping at straws because we want life to be a certain way, but our desperation indicates that we cannot accept that change is the only sure thing in life. Furthermore, we fail to recognize how counterproductive our stubbornness has become. We simply cannot see that life is fluid because we sometimes want everything to stay frozen in place.

We turn into caricatures of our younger selves and routinely dismiss some rational concepts and suggestions from those around us. Consequently, our obstinate nature pushes loved ones away, even when we do not want to alienate them. However, even a complete break from a valued relationship is sometimes better than dealing with the fears that arise when the need for alterations comes knocking at our door. Fortunately, most of us do rise to the challenges and mellow, but whether we comply or resist when the times demand it, our journey through life is rarely smooth and uneventful, except for those wonderful lulls that we discussed earlier.

Under the best of circumstances, the bumpy road through spiritual evolution is twisted, muddy, and full of opportunities to exit. Some off-ramps take us to resting areas with a multitude of distractions, while others lead straight to self-destruction and potentially ruinous options, such as addiction.

Addiction

Our drive for diversions and panaceas—and to Hell with the consequences—reflects the unconscious. We are spiritually obligated to face the music and if we run for cover in the form of escapist activities, such as addiction, we compound the situation by adding yet another set of unpleasant variables.

In light of this, the dry-drunk syndrome is fascinating to observe and applies to all addictions. The “dry drunk” is someone who gave up alcohol, but has resolved very few of her underlying issues. The dry drunk typically switches venues, replacing alcohol with another addiction, usually something less toxic. However, sometimes the new addiction is just as detrimental as the old. For example, I know one dry drunk who soberly became a compulsive gambler.

As I managed 1,300 calories a day most of the time, I was hopelessly addicted to a computer game and to buying jazz CDs. I had transferred a food addiction to less virulent obsessions. I frittered away a lot of time on these activities instead of getting on with my life, but I stayed away from excess food on most days.

However, I was still addicted. Like the dry drunk, I was not dealing with the underlying issues that catalyzed the eating disorder. Because losing weight was such a medical priority, I forgave myself for the silly distractions and prayed that whatever needed to be faced would reveal itself when I was ready.

As these examples indicate, being a dry drunk can be a good thing if an addiction is replaced by something significantly less damaging. At least the dry drunk has eliminated the complications arising from the more dangerous addiction. For example, an alcoholic who stops drinking abruptly terminates the predictable erosion of her liver and pancreas. Sober alcoholics are also rational 24/7 and stand a much better chance of retaining jobs and relationships.

However, the case of one dry drunk who became an obsessive gambler illustrates that exchanging one addiction for another is not always desirable. It depends on the trade, which has to do with the subject’s level of development and conscious awareness. Therefore, our compulsion to substitute one unhealthy behavior with another—of equal or greater toxicity—underscores our fear of broadening our self-knowledge.

Addiction and Windows of Opportunity

Compared with substances such as alcohol and painkillers—or diet pills and prescription sleep aids—drugs such as meth-amphetamines, cocaine, and crack offer a much narrower window of opportunity for reversing the physical damage caused by their use.

Our bodies are more vulnerable and less forgiving over time than some of us realize. Doctors are sometimes astounded by a patient’s complete reversal of an addiction-induced condition, but most of us do not enjoy such a miracle after we have pushed the envelope too far. Therefore, those of us who wait too long to successfully purge a substance from our system cannot usually overcome the natural laws leading to irreversible conditions.

We are not being punished, nor does this refer to negative karma, as some would tell us. Rather, we are being subjected directly to the consequences of our own actions in the real world. In my case, I got a handle on my eating problem only after I was in a wheelchair. I can prevent more weight from accumulating by taking in just 1,300 calories and following a regime of 30 minutes of sit-down exercises a day, but I will have to reduce my caloric intake much further to accomplish any real weight loss. So far, this has proven to be quite a difficult challenge.

Even so, my medical conditions are now past the point of no return, so the best I can hope for is some reduction in the pain associated with my situation, along with a reduced risk for strokes and heart attacks. This is of great value of course, but it is a far cry from a reversal substantial enough to allow me to walk again. That ship has sailed.

Unlike most people in wheelchairs, I could have prevented my situation had I acted in a timely fashion. I do not blame bad karma. I know I did this to myself and I do not expect God or the law of attraction to rescue me from the hole I have dug.

Lessons Mirrored by a Situation

Some lessons directly reflect the situation itself. For example, a woman may come to understand that she has been attracting similar men over and over again to play out the same painful aspects of a romantic relationship. She may have to go through a dozen men to see this clearly because not only do the faces change with each new man, but also the peripheral circumstances.

For example, one woman might find that all of these men share an aloofness and refusal to communicate when she needs to talk the most. However, one man’s life, his personality, and the relationship itself, can be so vastly different from the men before him that they mask the essence of the troubling common denominators.

In some cases, these unhealthy features point to an old situation we have failed to excavate from our psyches. In others, they reflect a flaw in our own makeup that needs adjustment. For example, attracting controlling men may refer to either recreating a controlling parent, or to our own need to control others.

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Chapter 4

The Laws Governing Internal Sources of Suffering

A thin, blurry line separates some psychological theories from spiritual matters. The sheer number of overlaps between psychology/psychiatry and metaphysics astounds me at times. In addition, one camp addresses pertinent issues that can be borrowed by the other for deeper understanding. Fortunately, numerous insightful books, written by psychologists and psychiatrists, have helped in my personal journey as well as my ongoing research.

Psychology, Psychiatry, and Metaphysics

Psychological or psychiatric counseling may serve some people well, particularly those who have yet to awaken spiritually. Successfully applied techniques and talk therapy can be every bit as helpful as confronting real-life issues in a pragmatic fashion.

The goals of therapy patients typically include living richer, fuller lives, which is completely in synch with their spiritual agendas. Furthermore, when we consult a psychiatrist or psychologist, we work from the inside out, as we do with a strictly spiritual approach.

Whether or not we seek professional help, this discussion boils down to our responsiveness at any given time to a particular approach. At certain points, some of us might find a perceptive friend to be enough, while others feel satisfied with a life coach. For deeply rooted issues, we may find that a psychiatrist is our best option. The good news refers to having plenty of choices to suit our ever-evolving consciousnesses and changing needs.

Carl Jung’s Prolific Work

References to Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung (1875-1961) are scattered throughout this book. Of all the psychologists to have surfaced in the last century, nobody had a better grasp on the spiritual aspects of psychology than Jung and the Jungian analysts who have subsequently enhanced his material.

Jung’s writings revealed spiritually attuned perceptions and remarkable, forward thinking. Moreover, Jung’s work has been clearly influenced by his longstanding interests in mysticism, Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism, Gnosticism, and Taoism, according to Wikipedia.

In books geared towards the public, the Jungian analysts’ contemporary writings usually reflected a clearer and more accessible rendering of Jung’s theories than Jung’s original work. Jungian analysts have apparently mulled over Jung’s writings and have routinely added startling perceptions, which typically remained faithful to Jung’s intentions.

Studies of consciousness and the unconscious dominated Jung’s work. He also focused on dream interpretation in a revolutionary way. Jung coined many familiar terms, such as the shadow, archetypes, synchronicity, extravert/introvert, and the collective unconscious. Jung also proposed the anima/animus hypothesis, but only half of this equation is vaguely conveyed today when we talk about a man’s “feminine side.”

Alice Miller and Childhood Issues

Jung often discussed the nuances of family dysfunction that can lead to an existential handicap in adulthood, but Swiss psychologist Alice Miller (1923-) devoted most of her professional life to this subject. (Strangely enough, after decades working as a psychoanalyst, Miller ultimately rejected psychoanalysis as a viable treatment option in 1988, according to Wikipedia.)

The bulk of this chapter echoes Miller’s theories, particularly those found in The Drama of the Gifted Child and I am indebted to Miller for introducing these concepts. However, comparing the pertinent sections of The Drama of the Gifted Child to what I have written reveals Miller’s theories to be the scaffolding from which I have built an imposing structure.

Supplementary research accounts for some of what follows, but Miller’s theories profoundly resonated with my own experiences in an ultra-repressive environment, so most of the material in that section just tumbled out. Consequently, I adapted Miller’s work in a way that would not necessarily be instantly apparent to readers of The Drama of the Gifted Child.

Beyond Miller and Jung, I am very grateful to all the psychologists and psychiatrists who have written the books that inspired me in a meaningful way. These authors performed a delicate balancing act: They avoided scientific jargon, preserved the subject’s complexity, and refused to dumb down the material.

Submerged Truths

In the last chapter, we completed a lengthy discussion of the concrete troubles that can besiege us from time to time. Even harder to identify and readjust are the hidden aspects of our inner lives, shrouded as they are behind the numerous shielding mechanisms of our unconscious. These protective curtains may as well be thick iron walls, because we cannot see beyond them until such time as our unconscious receives a clear indication from our conscious self that we are now prepared to examine the contents.

Don’t Mess with Me

Most of the time, the unconscious resides quietly in our brain and operates on the premise that: “if you don’t disturb me, I won’t mess with you.”

Though we rarely notice it most of the time, our unconscious contains a staggering power that both helps and hinders us. It immunizes us from painful events we are not ready to confront and blinds us to traits we are unwilling to acknowledge. Nevertheless, these concealed truths really need to be released and harboring them creates an unnecessary burden that pulls us down.

According to author Robert Bly, we store lots of emotional garbage—usually accumulated in childhood—in an invisible bag that we drag behind us. As adults, our spiritual duty is to empty the bag, one piece at a time.

In part, these counterproductive elements consist of:

The actual traumatic event or situation is often far less damaging than is our inability to release it. We may not know how to purge something from our system, but the longer we warehouse it, the more distorted our psyche becomes. Consequently, healthy functioning in certain areas can be reduced to the realm of wishful thinking. For example, a sexually abused child may never enjoy a long-term and mutually gratifying relationship as an adult because either her trust in men was destroyed or she cannot overcome the shame she now associates with sex.

Introjects

This instance of shame induced in childhood illustrates “introjects,” a term coined by Alice Miller in The Drama of the Gifted Child. Introjection loosely refers to adopting the characteristics imposed upon us by others. These counterfeit traits result in submerging important aspects of our true selves.

For example, my mother saw me as a “sad sack,” and she constantly insisted on smiles, however fake they may have been. I introjected this expectation by stretching my lips in her presence, but I reverted to a neutral expression the rest of the time.

As we see here, elements of my real self were temporarily supplanted by my mother’s demand to smile, but this particular introject did not carry over into adulthood because its effects were quite shallow. Superficial and annoying introjects rarely cause permanent, penetrating damage while others may invoke much more debilitating after-effects.

Invisible Vaccines

When parents detect unwanted characteristics in a child, they typically inoculate the child with introjects as an antidote. Some of these behaviors may be universally disdained, such as regular temper tantrums in a child old enough to know better. However, parents who favor introjects as their modus operandi often just want to wipe out traits—that are inconsistent with their agenda for the child with no regard for who the child really is—and replace them with characteristics the parents find more palatable. In these cases, subjectivity motivates the parent. For example, one parent might see an opinionated child as headstrong and obnoxious, while another might view her as lively and assertive, with a bright future ahead of her.

This particular example also calls attention to personality compatibility issues. When parents feel attuned to a child’s personality, they are less likely to impose introjects. As a result, parents who are prone to introjecting may do so more with one child than another. In some cases, the introjecting parent’s narrow context reflects a set of constrictive and often outdated values, relative to the collective consciousness surrounding such a parent.

Parenting Trends

Parenting trends sometimes underscore these phenomena. For instance, most of us now recognize the negative, long-term consequences of constantly berating a child. However, now that this is acknowledged, some would say that the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction, with some parents’ gushing admiration for a 10-year-old who remembers to bring home his lunch bucket. Hopefully, we will eventually achieve a balance between these two extremes by reserving praise for more significant accomplishments.

Here we see signposts of three levels of developing consciousness: In the past, demoralization was common. Today we have over-compensated, leaving our children poorly prepared for the real world. In the future, we will undoubtedly pull back and achieve the balance we sought in the first place.

These three states represent snapshots of different periods of a collective consciousness within a specific culture. (We can take a step further and observe the pendulum at work on a large scale by charting the course of many aspects of a particular culture, from standards for political correctness to sexual mores.)

The Toxicity of Introjects

Now that we have discussed various trends, we will return to introjects. Both the parent (introjector) and the child (introjectee) are susceptible to a highly unconscious process. The parent can neither identify nor forecast the potential toxicity of introjects. For her part, the child innocently ingests them as effortlessly as inhaling carbon monoxide, which is also odorless, tasteless, and virtually impossible to detect. Neither side foresees the existential incarceration awaiting the child in adulthood.

By their very nature, introjects are submerged in the realm of the irrational, yet highly functioning adult introjectees often comprehend the full extent of the damage done by introjects. Nevertheless, they can still be utterly immobilized when they contemplate bridging the gap between intellectual understanding and actually releasing themselves from this straightjacket.

Introjectees fully understand that such paralysis saturates the psyche to the point that rational thought is all but swallowed up by the introjects.

The Victor, the Vanquished, and the War Within

Once introjects linger long enough to be systemically encoded, the adult introjectee reaches an uneasy impasse. Instead of new thinking unseating the old, our true nature struggles helplessly to free itself from the weight of long-established introjects. Nevertheless, time and again the prevailing introject successfully annihilates all attempts to liberate the real self.

These exertions exhaust us until we have stopped fighting and until enough time has passed to reinvigorate our psyche. Then another battle ensues and the introject usually reigns supreme while the true self feebly concedes defeat once again.

Even so, the screams for release continue, but they tend to grow progressively fainter because our authentic disposition plummets deeper into the abyss with each setback. The victor (our introject-command coordinator) confidently settles in for the long haul, while the vanquished (our conscious self) mourns the loss of both our hearty voice and most ambitious wishes. This war within corresponds to a lesser-known interpretation of an old adage: “We truly are our own worst enemies.”

Projection

We can understand introjection better when we look at its opposite: Projection, or the assignment of favorable characteristics we wish another person possessed. Projection typically occurs early in a close relationship and can often lead to its demise.

For example, when we are in the initial, giddy stage of a romance, we believe that our partner displays all kinds of idyllic qualities, which amplify our attraction all the more. Within a month or so, we painfully watch as the fictional features disintegrate one by one, exposing the person’s true nature, blemishes and all. At this point, the shortcomings shift to the forefront in excruciating contrast to the first idealized image, which we believed was so real just a short time ago.

Eventually, maturity and experience usually armor us against this, but almost all of us project at one time or another. Therefore, it is truly miraculous when a relationship survives past this reality check. In these cases, projection means casting ideal attributes onto another.

However, we also transfer shadowy elements within our own psyches onto others. For example, a chronic braggart may grumble about someone else’s momentary boasting. In this instance, a third party might make the ironic correlation between the complainant and the accused, but the braggart will remain clueless about the connection.

The essential differences between introjection and projection refer to their relative sources: Projection generates from within the self, while outside parties typically initiate introjects, which we unwittingly nurture.

Harmless Introjects

Since introjects usually take root in childhood, we need to return to an earlier stage of life to examine them more fully.

Let’s look at an innocuous introject in a five-year-old who mimics his father. The child may be pleased that his mother bought him a three-piece suit because he can look more like his dad going off to work every day. In this case, a benign introject is manufactured solely by the child. The boy secretly wants the suit so he can resemble his dad, as opposed to the father insisting that his son wear a suit to maintain family status or to impress the neighbors.

This last scenario—compounded by many other similar parental messages—may lead to a mildly detrimental introject. However, we are more concerned with the kind that lingers into adulthood and messes up our thinking—and sometimes our lives—in a major way.

Malignant Introjects

Injurious introjects can also be created by the introjectee, but they are usually a response to tacit appeals from others. Parents often solicit desired behavior via unvoiced “parental directives.” The introjectee understands that much is at stake if she rebuffs the demand and she clearly sees that compliance leads to approval.

So the introjectee conforms in classic Pavlovian fashion, regardless of how much of her real self must be sacrificed. For example, when a child is “caught” exploring her body, a parent may verbally reprimand her or implicitly invoke shame. Either way, the child believes she has done something hideous. This one incident may be all that is needed for the child to conceive a crippling introject, which could generate a lifetime of sexual dysfunction.

In The Drama of the Gifted Child, Alice Miller exhaustively explores the ramifications in later life of childhood acquiescence to noxious introjects.

Miller asserts that the child’s obedience to parental mandates—offering shame as punishment and approval as reward—surely instills a sense of conditional love. Furthermore, these dictates may very well work against the child’s natural temperament and personality, forcing the child to develop a false identity to satisfy the parent and circumvent degradation.

Here, the unspoken message is clear and damaging: Your authentic self is reprehensible and unworthy of our love. Only your counterfeit self—or who you pretend to be to please us—is the one we really love.

As we shall see later in this chapter, the adult introjectee usually chooses between two dysfunctional options, people pleasing and rebellion; each of which presents its own can of worms. The deeper the introject’s roots, the less likely that healthier options will manifest in that area.

Retroactive Introjects

A retroactive introject can cut as deeply as any other. Retroactive introjects indicate directives that are planted early in life, but only kick in as introjects later.

For example, let’s consider a gay man named Blake. For all of his life, Blake heard “faggots” and “queers” being ridiculed, only to find himself attracted to boys when he reached puberty. So he matched up what he had heard with this new realization and retroactively introjected all the associated shame. Consequently, Blake only “came out” at 31.

Some gay people never honor who they really are, presumably because retroactive introjects not only overtake their psyche, but also continue to grow in the adult mind.

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Chapter 5

The Laws of Transition—The Prebirth Agenda

Before we dig into the complexities of the prebirth agenda, let’s look at the three prevailing beliefs about life after death:

  1. We only get one shot and no afterlife awaits us. We are simply buried six feet under and turn into dust
  2. We have only one life, but our beliefs and actions while on Earth determine our location in the afterlife. Heaven and Hell would be the potential destinations within the Christian context.
  3. We are subject to reincarnation, or recurring visits to this plane with time spent in the afterlife between incarnations. The afterlife offers another chance to expand our awareness, to advance spiritually, and to improve our karmic standing

Between 21 percent and 27 percent of Americans believe in reincarnation. In contrast to the low numbers believing in reincarnation, a 1999 poll of Americans shows strong beliefs in the afterlife as follows:

Those of us who believe in an afterlife—but who reject reincarnation—may be persuaded that some sort of ethereal period precedes conception. If so, I am convinced that a specific protocol prepares us for our journey. This book implicitly endorses reincarnation theory, but much of what follows could fit in with the other two viewpoints as well.

Consciousness in the Afterlife

After reading and thinking about the prebirth agenda for a very long time, I conclude the following:

When we enter the astral plane after death, we are bewildered by its completely different context. Even after a long illness, we typically cannot be certain that we are actually dead because an elevated sense of confusion temporarily impairs our judgment. A sharp feeling of dislocation and uncertainty are the usual reactions and they only dissipate as we relocate into the upper realms.

Some of us who end up numerous rungs above the entry level may find our stay in the initial locale longer than expected: We may spend a long time in a disoriented state, finding it difficult to either figure out what is going on or to disengage ourselves from the life we just left. How quickly we can adjust to the new environment and how willing we are to let go of earthly matters influence our progress. The higher we go, the more clearly we perceive things and the more comfortable we feel.

After the initial adjustment period, the part of our mind that is connected to our spirit slowly expands to comprehend the astral environment. For those of us with enough moral fiber to have avoided evil acts most of the time, a wonderful place awaits. Most of us like it so much that the pain we experienced while living seems distant, though we can still recall it. Now, in a distress-free context, we begin to understand six basic concepts:

First, we cannot take up permanent residence in the astral plane’s peak level until we have made some crucial alterations to our spirit.

Second, we know that returning to Earth is the only way to accomplish such modifications. Indeed, the planet was set up for this purpose alone.

Third, by exercising free will, we can decide the degree of adjustment for our next tenure on Earth. A consultant is assigned to help us create our own plan for the next visit.

Fourth, the specific details of our future life are not revealed to us. Rather, we pick the extent of our discomfort based on our tolerance for pain and on how much material we wish to cover. We choose our new life guided by a scale from one to 100—one being the least painful, while anything over 80 is aggressively discouraged.

Fifth, the overly ambitious may choose a far worse life (e.g. to speed up karmic debt payoffs) than those who pace themselves more slowly. For example, the souls who end up in impoverished or war-torn countries might very well have wanted a more rapid return home. However, sometimes those in horrible circumstances have instead agreed to serve a purpose, which also hastens their progress. For example, a person born with a severe birth defect may promote tolerance of people who differ from the mainstream.

Perhaps those of us who end up in a more comfortable Western environment understand that the work we have to do will not usually encompass such basic needs as food, shelter, freedom, and safety, but will entail other adversities that better typify the Western experience.

Therefore, in the most general terms, the differences between some people in underdeveloped areas of Bangladesh and affluent Americans refer largely to their respective degree of spiritual drive: The poorest Bangladeshis may want to cram more opportunities to learn lessons, serve purposes, and pay off karmic arrears than their American counterparts.

Sixth, physical comfort is more likely to materialize in Western countries than eleswhere. Nevertheless, we understand that this does not exempt us from our prebirth agenda; only the forum for our spiritual work differs.

Instead of lacking the essentials, we may get a life-threatening disease, lose our house in a tornado, or have to deal with an ongoing hardship, such as taking care of a parent with Alzheimer’s for many years while struggling to make a living and support three children. Remember, we do not ask for the disease, the tornado, etc. The agenda is never that specific.

Untapped Wisdom

As mentioned earlier, our mind must expand to take in the after-death experience. The younger we are, the more difficult this is to comprehend.

For example, most 18-year-olds believe that they know everything about everything. As we get older, it slowly dawns on us that whatever we actually do know is nothing compared to what we could potentially comprehend.

However, this acknowledgement of vast amounts of untapped wisdom still refers exclusively to the knowledge attainable on Earth, without recognizing the cosmic intelligence beyond it.

We see this dichotomy at work every day as we raise our children. For example, most parents are well informed about online predators, but some teenagers react to warnings by keeping their visits to forbidden chat rooms a secret. The child only understands that he is not allowed to do this, without fully grasping the reasoning behind the restriction.

Along the same lines, when a baby starts crawling, parents know they must be ever vigilant. When the parent pulls filthy objects out of the baby’s mouth, the child sometimes seems completely mystified by the parent’s actions. Clearly, parents utilize a far more expanded consciousness than children do. An adult’s sound judgment leads to pre-emptive intervention, but the child rarely comprehends the parent’s protective motives.

These examples point out the differences between child and adult consciousnesses to illustrate similar disparities between the adult mind and cosmic intelligence. When the mind slowly expands after death, our awareness eventually permits us to evaluate earthly matters with the same wisdom an adult on Earth has relative to a child.

Our maximum level of cosmic comprehension refers solely to our spiritual evolution at the time we die, rather than to our degree of intelligence or to our accumulated knowledge. Therefore, a brilliant woman with multiple graduate degrees does not necessarily fare better than her less educated counterpart in the afterlife. For example, a high school dropout may be far more spiritually evolved than a college professor. True, the teacher carries enough curiosity to continue learning in the afterlife. However, the high school dropout may still want to learn and starts at a higher level than the teacher. Of course, the path to accumulating afterlife knowledge refers to our level of spiritual determination. Intellectual zeal only gets us so far, while motivation propels us much further along.

The Afterlife

Whatever our current level of consciousness may be we can always take time in the afterlife to advance by learning more. This allows us to be better equipped for our upcoming incarnation. However, some souls are anxious to return to Earth because they liked it so much. They skip as many steps as possible and may refuse the opportunity to learn more.

At some point in the afterlife, we also exhibit an understanding that we carry our karmic bank account and unlearned lessons forward into the next incarnation. As pure spiritual entities—utilizing a greatly expanded consciousness—we find ourselves well qualified for a new incarnation. At this point, our basic understanding of how our earthly existence relates to our spiritual well being is so vast that all the mysteries and unanswered questions we had on Earth have been addressed in great detail.

Nevertheless, even with this precious knowledge, we sometimes feel wistful. Some of us would prefer to stay in this wonderful place, because we cannot stand the idea that most of the wisdom we have found on this plane will dissolve when we reincarnate on Earth.

Paradoxically, our memory of the afterlife is erased upon conception, but we still retain our level of consciousness, bolstered by what we have learned in the afterlife. We have an altered awareness with no recollection of any afterlife particulars. Therefore, at conception, our extended afterlife consciousness shrinks to a form suitable for earthly life. Most of us start our new life on a higher spiritual level than we had at the end of our previous incarnation. Our newly expanded consciousness informs behaviors and decisions as we make our way through life. If we continue on the same path, we are virtually guaranteed a more spiritually enriched life, but not necessarily an easier one.

Before we leave the afterlife, most of us want to cling to our enlightened existence, yet we realize that a new life on Earth offers opportunities to attain even greater heights of consciousness. We can lengthen our afterlife tenure by signing up for more studies, but we can only postpone the inevitable for so long. This predicament proves to be a forerunner of the occasionally agonizing decision-making that awaits us on Earth.

Pressure, Stress, and Learning

In the afterlife, we mull over how much pressure we can withstand on Earth while learning a specific lesson and we choose its time of inception.

Some of the questions we must consider are:

In my case, I clearly opted for serious lessons to begin in adulthood and after my spiritual awakening. Before that time, my life seemed to be far more random and it was responsive to my ingenuity. Apparently, I also signed up for a high degree of persistent stress, because I have yet to unearth the unconscious underpinnings that account for maintaining a high weight.

Despite my failure to conquer the root causes of my obesity, I have made tremendous progress in other areas, such as anger management, increased compassion, and a drastically revised attitude. Nevertheless, several unpleasant aspects of my life thrive unabated, such as mystifying, recurring relationship issues and a slow, steady medical decline, to name two. Whenever I think about how much spiritual ground I have covered, I am always astonished by how much work I have left to do.

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Chapter 6

The Laws of Transition—Our Sacred Purpose

Common wisdom dictates that everyone is assigned a purpose. I believe this is true, but when the time comes to carry it out some of us turn our backs on the opportunity because free will can always override the fulfillment of a purpose.

Parenting

For most of us, parenting serves as our main purpose, yet we still hear about mothers leaving their newborns on church steps and fathers running away during the pregnancy. Conversely, we see very young parents rise to the challenge and mature tremendously during the child’s first year. Fortunately, responsible parents account for the vast majority. Raising children—so they can learn lessons and fulfill their own mandates—may be more spiritually valuable than other sacred designations.

Adults who feel damaged by dysfunctional parents were intentionally paired with these particular souls because of the terms of their prebirth contract. In these cases, the parents perform two functions: Along with child rearing, they serve as the child’s first chance to learn lessons through the introduction of aggravating people in their life. Let’s take a closer look.

Malicious Parents

Dysfunctional parents can be characterized as either benign or malicious. Cruelty inflicted on a child by a parent most often manifests as abuse or neglect. If this heartlessness results from an addiction, then these parents effectively put the whole thing in motion each time they take a drink or open a casino door. Of course, accountability and growing karmic debt go along with each instance of parental misconduct.

Some children are forced into the position of parenting the parent, so this adult has ostensibly robbed the child of the many pleasures associated with childhood and may have also impaired the child’s potential at school.

We need not discuss this further because abuse and neglect are much easier to spot than the insidious symptoms associated with the benign, but misguided, parent. At first, we rarely perceive mistakes made by an otherwise caring parent.

Benign Parents

Like my mother, most seemingly innocuous parents are actually motivated by love and could never imagine harming their child in any way. My mother took care of me properly and fulfilled all of the obvious parental commitments. She bore no traces of either an intellect or a sense of humor, so right there we had our first conflicts. However, had these been the only issues, I am sure I would have been OK.

Influenced by her deeply ingrained Victorian sensibility, my mother ruled through silence. As we have already discussed, her directives came in the form of raised eyebrows and scornful expressions, which conveyed derision and disapproval in a way that cut to the core.

In chapter 2, we investigated how this kind of parenting inadvertently erects gigantic obstructions in adulthood, which in turn thwart our ability to attain our goals. These blockages may even prevent us from serving our purpose because they sometimes stunt the spiritual growth necessary to make us fit enough for the task.

As dysfunctional parents, any steps we take to increase awareness about these issues could result in spiritual advances for us, and an enriched life for our children. One way to approach this would entail listening to and observing our children because we may unearth some valuable clues.

As children of messed-up parents, we cannot expect miracles. However, we can recognize that most parents unwittingly repeat cycles from their childhood and that most of our complaints refer to their unconscious issues.

Forgiveness—along with a persistent resolve to break this cycle—forms the foundation for great spiritual advances in this area.

The Enlightened Soul

Some of us serve a Divine purpose by just being ourselves. Imagine a highly evolved individual, whom I will name Melanie for the sake of this discussion. She lives among people who are in great need of spiritual advice.

Melanie shares a lifestyle similar to the people around her and works at a comparable job. Melanie’s wisdom allows her to introduce people to new ways of looking at life. Although her ideas might astound some of her neighbors from time to time, Melanie has unwittingly become the primary spiritual teacher.

For example, she may offer a truly inspired take on the value of forgiveness. This may or may not influence someone who needs to forgive, but at least they have found an alternative way of looking at their situation.

Not everyone welcomes spiritual advice, so Melanie’s worldview is lost on some people. Others, however, benefit enormously from Melanie’s presence in this community. Her assistance can lead to good outcomes at best, and an increase in knowledge at worst. Melanie instructs by her own example, which is always more powerful than words. Some may choose to disregard her, but others allow her guidance to sink in and change the course of their lives as a result. Based on a true story, the HBO movie Lackawanna Blues (2005) portrays just such a person and the dozens of people whose lives were made better because of her.

Melanie exemplifies someone whose most significant purpose spans her entire adult life. However, our spiritual blueprint can also be manifested in incidents of much shorter duration, sprinkled throughout our lives. We can be in the right place at the right time with offers of an organ transplant, much needed consolation, or even something as simple as jumper cables.

The Impact of Small Acts of Kindness

Jumper cables may not seem significant at first, but we never know what kind of an impact a small act might have.

For example, I get heatstroke at the drop of a hat and I was trying to get home one day while it was 92 degrees outside with high humidity. My car would not start, but I got help within five minutes. A kind man with jumper cables essentially pre-empted a nasty bout of heatstroke, but he had no way of knowing that. His simple act of kindness was more important to me than he could possibly have guessed. Such small acts can get someone out of a bad situation fast enough to avoid serious problems, or to arrive somewhere in time for a beneficial experience that would not have been possible with a delay.

These are tiny examples, but they add up and carry weight in the scheme of things. Moreover, small stuff comprises more of the fabric of our lives than the big, defining moments. Needless to say, rising to these occasions bolsters our karmic standing, regardless of their apparent insignificance at the time.

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Chapter 7

The Law of Cause and Effect—Karma

We have so far discussed suffering and the law of attraction in terms of our prebirth agenda and our sacred purpose, as well as several unconscious factors, but the plot thickens when the intricacies of karma are thrown into the mix.

Theories about karma vary from one religion to another and among numerous cultures. Many cultures embrace karma as the impersonal underpinning of all interrelationships, including those among flora, fauna, and other natural phenomena. Indeed, some cultures ramp it up to include absolutely all actions/reactions within the universe. In any case, even the simplest interpretation implies mysterious and complex forces at work.

Regardless of the cultural variations, when we focus on the karma associated with spiritual growth, virtually all versions talk about karma in terms of cause and effect, instead of reward and punishment. This chapter focuses on the westernized version of karmic theory, which is concerned almost exclusively with personal development.

Generally speaking, our spiritual crimes and misdemeanors in one life are usually addressed in that life, but a carryover to the next life could also occur. However, when we experience anguish, it is impossible to tell if this refers to karma, or to the other elements we discussed earlier.

Karmically Induced Regressions

We are rarely able to distinguish among karmic influences and the other factors that can affect our experiences. Our ignorance is the single biggest factor we must consider when we talk about trusting the Universe or maintaining our faith during hard times. When we close one door, the next one to open may not lead us to desirable situations. In fact, we occasionally find ourselves moving backwards, or sinking into a noxious abyss.

We cannot control the inner workings of karma or the other factors and we cannot always prevent the onset of a nasty situation. However, we can influence, and favorably alter, our karmic standing by performing redemptive acts based on our mindfulness of the world around us. Redemptive acts are strictly voluntary and therefore refer to those rare occasions when free will reigns and we are partially in control of this vast and intricate system.

Redemption and Karma

I am reminded of the 2002 CBS series Hack, which starred David Morse as Mike Olshansky, a disgraced police officer. When Mike was caught stealing $8,000, he refused to implicate his partner and took all the heat himself. He lost his job, his home, and his wife. His son’s subsequent uncertainty and ambivalence towards him replaced years of unwavering love and admiration.

Mike drove a taxi, and he constantly helped his passengers and other people he met. I saw these episodes as terrific examples of redemption in action because Mike went to great lengths to assist others, often taking scary risks. The best part was that Mike seemed so driven by his desire to win back his son that he did not perceive the link between his actions and their influence on the bigger picture. This meant that the love for his son was his only motivation.

Overall, the scenarios in Hack seem completely feasible in theory, but the consistent amount of drama involved rings truer in fiction than in real life. Nevertheless, we can bolster our understanding of redemption in relation to karma through Mike Olshansky’s character. Let’s examine Mike’s story using the three hallmarks of karma: Motive, sacrifice, and the impact on others.

Motive

If Mike had a self-serving motive, it was not clear to the viewer. He seemed so shaken by the fallout from his spiraling descent that he felt compelled to make up for his mistakes just because it was the right thing to do, as if his moral compass had only been dislodged temporarily.

Sacrifice

The degree of sacrifice varied from one situation to another, but the potential costs only made Mike pause and re-evaluate things briefly before he acted. In the end, he always agreed to help. Of course, this had something to do with the freedom fiction enjoys over real life. In reality, it is OK to let self-preservation kick in at times, even if it aborts an opportunity for a redemptive act.

Impact

The assistance Mike gave to others had a tremendous impact on their lives. Even when we make allowances for the difference between fiction and reality, the show’s depiction of karmic repercussions was very impressive.

The series led the viewer to believe that Mike never lost an opportunity to help others, regardless of the risk involved. In one episode, Mike moved Heaven and Earth to recover thousands of dollars lost by one of his passengers. Mike was misled into believing the money was intended for a worthy cause. At the end of the episode, Mike watched the passenger disappear into an apartment building with the recovered cash. We then saw what Mike did not: The passenger used the money to gamble in a card game.

In this example, Mike’s intention salvaged the situation. Mike thought the positive results would be much greater than they actually were, so if he had been a real person working off a karmic debt, he would have received full credit for his effort despite the less desirable outcome.

When we help people for no other reason than that the opportunity presents itself, we gain karmic reward points. We also demonstrate an understanding that all people are connected to us in some way, as our actions imply some kind of tie to the person we help. This link applies to even the smallest acts of kindness.

Redemptive acts also offer us a glimpse into the mystifying inner workings of karma, which rarely play out on a tit-for-tat basis. Mike’s embezzlement was never mirrored by the circumstances in which he found himself, yet his handling of the situations most definitely qualified for karmic credit. Similarly, when all else fails, we can always rely on selfless acts of kindness as foolproof ways of diminishing our karmic debt.

Karma as Currency

Karmic transactions are similar to exchanges of money. For example, money is the neutral entity between a paycheck and a purchase. We earn a paycheck, convert it into cash, and use the money to buy things. Our impersonal karmic bank account operates in much the same way. It applies to all of us equally, regardless of how miniscule or massive our karmic debts may be, just as supermarket prices do not fluctuate relative to the customer: Both sexual predators and rabbinical students pay exactly the same amount for a loaf of bread.

Clearly, only a few exceptional souls turn up in every century with a substantial credit balance at the end of their lives. Most of these people do such extraordinary things that they become historical figures, such as Saint Teresa and Gandhi. Though their karmic standing at birth may have been a liability, it changed into a credit balance later on.

What Goes Around Comes Around

People often think of the saying, “what goes around comes around” as equivalent to karma, but how many times have we actually seen, for example, a swindler being defrauded later in life? An exact match for karmic payback is quite rare. In fact, I remember somebody writing about a serial arsonist returning as a nurse on a burn ward.

A Skeleton in the Basement

Allow me to digress with a real-life example of the literal view of karma, which I saw in a true-crime story.

A man moved into a house in Venice Beach, California. During renovations, the new homeowner discovered human remains buried in the basement and called the police. The skull had been so severely bludgeoned that it was in several pieces.

The forensic anthropologists had never seen anything so severe and concluded that the victim’s pain would have been beyond imagining. They were able to establish the age of the remains, the approximate age of the victim, etc., and this helped police to identify the remains as female and to pinpoint the actual homeowner at the time of the murder. We will call him Bryan.

Before long, the police located witnesses who remembered a woman who had once lived at Bryan’s, but she had disappeared, never to be seen again. Bryan soon became the only suspect and the police successfully tracked him down.

When the detectives discovered Bryan was a resident at a convalescent home, they were not surprised. Given the date of the crime, they had expected him to be at least 70 years old. However, they were taken aback when they finally met him. Bryan had been rendered a blithering idiot by a freak accident. Many years earlier, something heavy had fallen from a high-rise building and smacked him on the head, creating severe and irreversible brain damage.

I was struck by this story because it featured the rare occurrence of eye-for-an-eye karmic retribution. Ordinarily, we really must make a distinction between karma as a whole and the idea that “what goes around comes around,” because it simply does not “come around” in such a literal fashion very often.

Vengeance Is Mine

The following Biblical passage has resonated deeply within me for a long time now: “‘Vengeance is mine’, said The Lord”.

If we take this seriously, we are trusting that those who have done us harm will get theirs in the end because God or the Universe will take care of it for us. Of course, regardless of how we phrase it, we are really talking about karma. However, we are rarely around to enjoy such reckonings.

Taking this Bible passage to heart and not acting in a vengeful way preserves our karmic standing. If we resist the temptation to act, we avoid the karmic fallout from whatever we were planning to do. Yes, even when we seem to be justified, we incur bad karma by launching vengeful acts. I do not really know if justification converts into a mitigating factor, but I am sure we still have some sort of Hell to pay for the revenge we transform from thought to action. I also know that we can all live better if we stop accruing more karmic debt.

Here is another aspect of vengeance to consider: If we confine revenge to the realm of dreams and imaginings, we may be safe on the karma front, but we are slowly poisoning our spiritual essence. Our soul and spirit together occupy a fixed amount of spiritual real estate on this plane of existence.

The more we fill it up with negativity, the less room we have for positive things, including constructive experiences and opportunities that might come our way. We are not completely blocking out the potential good, but rather significantly limiting it. In addition, some things—such as cherished relationships—simply perish in a hostile environment.

Over time, bitterness and vengeful thinking produce an alarming number of contaminants that eventually leak out to infect other areas of our lives. Though the process is always reversible, the damage might not be. Therefore, nurturing hostility never harms the target of our vengeance, but always does damage within us. The longer we hold onto these poisons, the more we put ourselves at risk for life-threatening illnesses as well. In the end, it is our spiritual duty to purge this type of thinking as soon as we possibly can.

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Chapter 8

The Law We Consciously Control—Free Will

In the human experience, free will is as omnipresent as water. Regardless of our circumstances or how evolved we are, we can always exercise free will. Even when we face adversity we can still do so, though we may feel like we have a much shorter leash and far fewer options. This is abundantly clear with addicted people who appear to hit rock bottom. Loved ones cannot imagine any option except sobriety, yet, to their astonishment, the addiction sometimes rages on with no end in sight.

Free will is also apparent in our choice to awaken spiritually. For example, for years many people advised me to read Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life. Deep down I must have known I would have a profound response to this book because I avoided it for a long time. Once I took the plunge, it turned out to be a major pivotal point and indeed launched my spiritual awakening.

Random Events

Over time, I eventually understood the nature of random events. Regardless of whether we have awakened spiritually or not, our prebirth agenda dictates key events. However, exercising free will in this context can generate substantial results. Indeed, what we make of our lives—in concert with random opportunities and happenings— significantly supplements our spiritual mandates.

All matter is connected, but our ability to make these associations is much greater when we are plugged in spiritually. Furthermore, the quantity and quality of synchronicity (also known as happenstance and serendipity) increases when we are spiritually inclined, while random events decrease.

By exercising free will and consciously choosing a spiritual path, we implicitly ask a Higher Power to take over our lives. This always advances our spiritual evolution, but the real-world outcome may not be so wonderful.

Moreover, we typically do not comprehend what it really means to turn over our lives to a Higher Power. In the beginning, incredibly good things can happen and this derives from the release of our pent-up spiritual energy, which may have been under wraps for decades. Then we usually enter a period of inactivity or even stagnation, which can go on for a long time and serves two purposes:

First, this phase is long enough to weed out the insincere. Those motivated solely by thoughts of what they can get out of the real world will probably be discouraged by how long it takes and they may revert to their old ways. I am sure that countless followers of The Secret will eventually find themselves at such crossroads.

Second, it provides a probation period of sorts, giving us time to get out if we choose to do so. Once the probation period ends we can still turn back, but we may find such backtracking as tricky as extinguishing our survival instincts, or at least that was my experience with this mysterious phenomenon.

Free Will and Evil

The most evil among us also exercise free will. A hardened and vile criminal can, at any moment, completely turn her life around. To envision the spectrum of good and evil, imagine yet another straight line: At one end is brilliant light; at the other end is pitch-black darkness. We can imagine Saint Teresa at the bright end and Adolph Hitler at the other. The points in between are every possible gradation of gray.

At birth, we are positioned at one end, enveloped by the light. As we get older and understand more of the world, we are frequently presented with opportunities to move away from the light, even with relatively minor decisions. Within this spectrum, every choice we make directs us one way or the other because any given act is evaluated in relationship to its spiritual implications and our karmic portfolio as a whole.

Osama Bin Laden Had Choices Too

Osama Bin Laden’s situation illustrates some interesting aspects of this discussion. He arrived in Afghanistan with $300 million. After Afghanistan’s war with Russia, Bin Laden had some clear choices: Instead of setting up terrorist training camps, he could have helped the Afghanis by supplying food and medicine. Since the Bin Laden family’s $5 billion fortune came from construction, he also could have enlisted some Saudis to help the Afghanis. Even if he insisted that they call him King Osama, this would have been a miniscule transgression compared to what he actually did:

He made generous donations to local charities and paid off the Taliban to ensure that he could run terrorist training camps without interference. Of course, the rest is history. This story can be used to demonstrate several important spiritual principles:

One, we will eventually judge ourselves in relationship to the circumstances and resources at hand at the time we make a given choice. In Bin Laden’s case, he squandered his formidable assets on executing an evil plan instead of relieving the overwhelming needs of the Afghanis.

Two, any evil deed produces severely intensified spiritual consequences when it is enacted in the name of God.

Three, motives can be almost as important as the impact on others, especially in this case. Bin Laden contributed to local charities, but he was motivated by gaining support for his safe haven rather than by a sincere desire to help the Afghanis. The favorable spiritual results of his philanthropy were virtually wiped out by his nefarious motive.

Free Will and the Average Person’s Philanthropy

In a vaguely similar vein, this reminds me of people who believe that charitable donations ensure a ticket to Heaven or of executives who decide (at the beginning of a fiscal year) the amount they will allocate to charity based on the optimal impact on their tax liability. Again, the motive degrades the potency of the generosity, but far less than in the Bin Laden example.

The same applies to the so-called “tenfold” principle. Some people believe that whatever they give away will eventually come back to them 10 times more than the original amount. This belief surely diminishes that possibility because our motive is tied into what we can get out of it.

The highest octave of philanthropy presupposes giving without expectations of reward. Whatever the motivation, this all plays out on the spiritual plane for better and for worse.

Lightness, Darkness, and Restitution

Let’s return to that straight line, with brilliant light at one end and blackness at the other. As previously mentioned, each choice can move us in one direction or another.

Twelve-step programs implicitly address this with their emphasis on making amends. Not only can addicts ruin their own lives, but they can also wreak havoc upon the lives of others, creating both profoundly negative karma and a slippery slide towards darkness until they clean up their act.

Making amends through heartfelt apologies and/or restitution can make an impressive difference in both cases. In making amends, the impact on our spiritual lives would be relative to the amount of sacrifice involved. Consider a recovering addict who decides to initiate a restitution program for the financial damage he has done to others. He figures out how much he owes and to whom. He then divides a monthly sum among these people and makes regular payments until they are repaid in full.

In spiritual terms, this would go a long way towards paying off karma and moving closer to the light. It not only acknowledges the negative impact of this person’s previous actions, but the motives are pure because this addict expects nothing more than to make restitution and wipe the financial slate clean. We do not have to be addicts or participate in a 12-step program to try this sort of restitution ourselves. What we have learned here is that the more self-serving the motive, the less it counts spiritually.

The Light-Dark Accumulation Effect

When we are in either a move-to-the-light or move-to-the-dark mode, we might experience an avalanche effect. Sometimes, the more we move in one direction, the more we feel compelled to continue in that direction.

Some of us, consciously or unwittingly, slip and slide into a dark chasm. If and when we respond to a wakeup call, we usually allow specific goals to guide us back into lighter territory. For example, we might want to return to the stability we once enjoyed. However, the climb back up can be difficult and discouraging because we must travel back through the darkness towards the light.

For most of us, our daily choices represent a mix of spiritual misdemeanors and mild mitigations. If we lean in one direction more than the other, our movement in that path may still be nearly imperceptible in the short term. However, over time, our position within a given sphere will become far more obvious. For example, a judging or controlling woman may become so locked into this behavior that these characteristics—which may have been less noticeable in her 30s—are perceived as the dominant ones when the woman is in her 50s. Of course, we can always change, but offensive habits are far more ingrained and much harder to detect, the longer we practice them. In these instances, a spiritual awakening–followed by a sincere willingness to learn lessons–may be the only way back to a lighter realm.

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Taoists Shit happens.

Hindus This shit happened before.

Catholics If shit happens, you deserve it.

Jews Why does shit always happen to us?

Protestants Let shit happen to someone else.

Buddhists If shit happens, it is not really shit.

Christian Evangelists on TV Send more shit.

Zen Buddhists What is the sound of shit happening?

Atheists No shit.

Chapter 9

Religion, Spirituality and Prayers

World religions share a few things in common: One way or another, most religious leaders tell their followers that regular attendance at their place of worship goes a long way towards salvation. They also convey the message that specific beliefs and rituals—along with strict adherence to scriptures—are necessary to maintain a strong relationship with God.

Comparing Scriptures

Comparing scriptures from the oldest and most prevalent religions reveals unexpectedly strong connections among them. In Los Angeles during the early 1990s, I attended an impromptu lecture in Griffith Park. A comparative religions professor talked about inputting all the scriptures into a computer in such a way that all the beliefs and directives would be abbreviated in a standard format. Then, at the push of a button, all the matching philosophies would be deleted to see what was left.

According to this teacher, the overlaps would be greater than 90 percent, leaving only 10 percent of the content that was not mirrored by all other religions. Within the 10 percent, some identical matches reflected only a handful of doctrines. We would then be left with a few unique philosophies, appearing in one religion and none of the others. This teacher claimed that these stand-alone elements would not necessarily be offensive to the religions that appeared to have overlooked these issues.

I found this to be a stunning claim at first, but after careful deliberation, I understood what was not immediately apparent: It boils down to what is highlighted versus what is put on the backburner. For example, Buddhism places heavy emphasis on the many facets of suffering and compassion, although we do not hear as much about these issues from the other religions.

In this instance, I could not think of any doctrine that would argue with the Buddhist position. The other religions simply place their priorities elsewhere. Similarly, religions that value the 10 commandments would be hard pressed to find opposing sentiments from other faiths.

This discussion reminds me of the differences among 24-hour cable news channels. If we factor in the information crawling along the bottom of the screen, the variations narrow considerably, especially when we bear in mind their respective political differences. For example, a liberal newscast might devote a few minutes every hour to a specific story for an entire day, while its conservative counterpart reduces the same story to one sentence, which appears in their crawl for only 12 hours. However, both networks are covering the story. One is simply emphasizing it more than the other. From this discussion, we can deduce that:

If we are dissatisfied with our current religion, we really should feel free to experiment elsewhere.

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Chapter 10

Enlightenment and Consciousness

Prayer sometimes leads to enlightenment because our petitions make us alert and ready for direction, from within ourselves and from outside sources. Of course, enlightenment does not occur all at once. Rather, our consciousness expands a little bit with each epiphany.

Some people are not consciously plugged in spiritually, but mellow over the years anyway. These individuals experience dozens of epiphanies through lessons learned and absorb them into their psyche in small fragments. Therefore, we do not have to be spiritually attuned to benefit from consciousness expansion.

Can We Measure Enlightenment?

The progression of enlightenment is similar to going from complete blindness to 20/20 vision with thousands of increments along the way. If we observe a huge spiritual leap forward, we simply cannot gauge its relative value: We cannot figure out where on the spectrum we began and how many steps we have just taken. Thus, enlightenment is measured in degrees, yet it cannot be quantified.

Unfortunately, we are only as perceptive as our spiritual maturity allows. Therefore, what seems like a giant step could be just that or may be much smaller, when observed within the larger scheme of things. In a given area, we can advance from totally blind to barely seeing anything and remain in that state for eons.

The Tranquilized Turtle

Our movement towards clarity is barely perceptible within a given lifetime, but impressive growth spurts are possible. In fact, some people enjoy the rare privilege of a spillover effect: When one facet undergoes a successful overhaul, it sometimes trickles down to favorably influence other areas.

More typically, we leisurely zigzag through life like a turtle on tranquilizers Then again, the animal is sedated, so sleeping takes up most of its time. Once in a blue moon, the turtle overdoses on espresso and scurries along. At such times, the animal covers a lot of ground in a short period, only to fall asleep again.

Epiphanies

These jolts often produce epiphanies, or translucent moments when we say, “Ah, ha!” And they characteristically herald a spiritual advance. In these moments of clarity, we discover a truth as finally self-evident. We also comprehend that right now must be the time when we are most receptive to this knowledge, in a way not possible before.

Epiphanies and Addiction

These epiphanies could activate the turning point in healing an addiction. For example, let’s look at Cassandra, an alcoholic mother of two, who lost her job due to excessive absences. She was simply too hung over to make it to work every day. Cassandra liked her job and getting fired was a serious financial blow. For her, this was a wakeup call, permitting her to see the writing on the wall.

Cassandra took stock and accurately projected that if she continued drinking, she could lose everything, including her kids. Until this time, Cassandra was completely in denial, but losing her job shocked her into reality.

I have seen this happen a few times with dramatic results. Not only does the addict in recovery heal the main cause for concern, such as job retention, but also many other areas effortlessly fall into place, as if the substance abuse had impaired almost every facet of this person’s life, in a way not necessarily obvious to the observer, let alone the addict.

We have already discussed the slow road back from darkness for most addicts, but for some reason a few people enjoy a rapid recovery. This phenomenon usually mystifies loved ones as much as the recovering addict.

Transporting Wisdom from One Life to Another

Another variable refers to the state of spiritual development we carry from one life to the next. In the afterlife, we may or may not take the opportunity to learn more and develop beyond the level we were at death. In any case, we do not lose ground when we reincarnate, but it might take some of us until our late 30s (or even later) to resurrect our true evolutionary status. Conversely, we sometimes see pre-adolescent children who show an astounding spiritual comprehension, but they are rare birds indeed.

One Hurdle at a Time

We can be incredibly evolved in some areas, yet still remain quite primitive in others. One spiritual leap does not necessarily influence other areas in need of healing. For example, when we start to understand the interconnectivity of all things, we may become more helpful. Perhaps we volunteer for the first time ever, or we look out for people who seem to need our assistance. Over time, our unabated growth may enhance our generosity in ways we never thought possible. Yet, we may still find forgiveness in a particular situation untenable, or we may even find ourselves preoccupied with jealousy and envy from time to time.

Let’s now explore a few myths associated with enlightenment:

Myth: Consuming Large Quantities of Metaphysical Material Promotes Spiritual Expansion

Attending lectures, reading books, and listening to audiotapes generate many rewards, to be sure. We definitely can enrich our lives as follows:

First, we often feel centered and reassured.

Second, our understanding of one or more spiritual facets may evolve from dim to translucent.

Third, we can reconfigure our place in the scheme of things and possibly adjust our understanding of spiritual matters in a significant manner.

Fourth, we may be able to better distinguish between our spiritual and physical lives. This could add new meaning to our words and actions and promote a deeper understanding of the link between how we conduct our lives on Earth and the impact this has on our spiritual well being. These types of changes can be very subtle, but their effects build up over time. In fact, it is possible to accumulate enough of these to eventually reach critical mass, which in turn, instigates a meaningful transformation. Despite its power, the whole process takes place outside conscious awareness.

Fifth, our values may be altered to some degree, which beneficially influences behaviors and decisions. As a rule, only highly perceptive people can identify these nuances, but they also accumulate. The rest of us, including myself, usually recognize these subtleties in hindsight after enough time has passed to accrue several examples of the new values in action.

Nevertheless, no spiritual advances can be made unless our fresh insights are followed by actions, which reflect the new information. We always hear that “knowledge is power,” but in the end, knowledge is merely an intellectual achievement unless we do something with it.

We sometimes accumulate so much knowledge that we come to a favorable breaking point. The scales tip. The time is right. And after a very long phase of apparent stagnation, inspiration leads us to the best course of action. This is particularly true for people who have successfully overcome addiction to the point that they are no longer hounded by thoughts of their previous substances of choice.

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